Well, the black rain cloud is still out there weather-wise, but it has lifted some in my spirit. Now if we can just wade home tonight at 5pm, I’ll be very happy! It’s been pouring the rain on and off since yesterday morning.
I’ve been reading a lot of homemaker/stay at home mom blogs lately and I’ve got mixed feelings. They inspire me and at the same time make me feel like a horrible wife and mother.
Most of you know that I work full-time and have since Brady was 4 months old. It’s not by choice, it’s by necessity. Not only is my income essential, I also carry our health insurance, which is also essential. DH’s company is small and family coverage for us would be over $600 a PAY PERIOD. When I add it all up on paper, it just doesn’t work.
Now I love being a wife and a mother and running my home. Growing up, my favorite books were “Little House on the Prairie” and others that talked about the traditions of home and family. I love the feeling of having a clean, neat home and a homemade meal on the table and spending time with our family and friends.
Unfortunately, I have to squeeze all of that into nights and weekends. Housework usually waits until after Brady goes to bed so I can spend time with him. Yes, he goes to daycare, which apparently is going to cause him to enter prison at a young age if you believe some studies. There is almost always a home cooked meal on the table each night, either by my husband or myself. Brady gets lots of stories and hugs each evening and lots of fun times on the weekends. I stay up late and bake the cupcakes for his class parties and I take off work when he’s sick. We’re not a family that never sees each other or eats McDonald’s in the car every night.
I hate that I’m not there with him everyday and if I could change that, I would. And I know that if it’s God’s will that I were to stay home, He would provide everything we need and everything would be fine, but I don’t know if that’s where He’s leading right now. We would be talking about a huge change in income, even with not having to pay for daycare.
All this is to say, please don’t think that I love my child any less because I have to work and he has to go to daycare or that I love my husband any less or that I take my job as a wife and mother any less seriously.
3 comments:
Serah,
First of all, thank you for visiting my blog. :)
I don't want anyone to feel bad when they read my blog. When you have to work, you have to work...you just work with your husband and make the best of it. I've done that myself. I don't think you're a bad mom.
One of my main purposes in blogging is just to encourage other stay-at-home moms because many of us, especially those of us with school age and older children, are often made to feel like we do "nothing" all day. My husband has had female co-workers say "I can't believe your wife doesn't do ANYTHING!" You also may have read on my blog how my own father feels about it. :(
I think the work of a stay-at-home wife and mom is important and if it's at all possible it's best for families and for society. I want to encourage others to look at it the same way. That doesn't mean I think that that all women who work are doing the wrong thing.
Hope I made some sort of sense. Didn't mean to write you a book. :)
Sounds like you are a great mom, and no one should make you feel otherwise. We all do what is best for us and our family!
I don't work outside the home now, but I did when mine where babies and they are just fine!
Please don't be too hard on yourself! I am a stay at home mom... but used to work... both are HARD! Don't let the "bloggy" world get you down.. it will get me down if I let it... everyone seems to do a better job than me! In the blog world we only show what we want to! My sister (also my best friend) is a working mom of 2 kids... they are 7/5 and are GREAT kids... she is like you... evenings and weekends are full of love!!!!!!!!! Just because I am home all day doesn't mean every minute is with my kids...!
Heather
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